Chaos Guide

Players: 3+

Goal

Trump Slam is a fast-paced, grab-and-go game. The aim is to win the most cards by quickly picking the card with the highest value in the chosen category.

Setup

• Spread the entire deck face up across the table so everyone can see all cards clearly.

• The Caller for the first round is the player who has most recently had sex.

• The Caller announces the category and counts down from three.

Playing a Round

• When the Caller announces a category and begins the countdown, all other players race to grab one card they believe has the highest value.

• Once you touch a card, it’s yours. No swaps.

• If you miss the countdown and fail to grab a card, you do not play that round.

• Once all players have chosen (or the countdown ends), everyone reveals their card.

• The player with the highest value wins the round and keeps their card.

Mileage exception: The lowest value wins.

• All other cards are returned to the table.

Ties

• If two or more players tie for the winning value:

  • The tied players place their cards next to one another

  • The Caller announces a new category

  • Only the tied players compete again using those cards

  • The winner keeps their card

  • All other tied cards are returned to the table

Carrying On

• The Caller role rotates clockwise after each round.

• A new category is called each round.

• Play continues until all cards have been claimed.

• The player with the most cards at the end wins.

Drinking Version 🍻

• The player with the lowest value card in each round drinks.

• If you fail to grab a card in time, you drink.

• The player with the fewest cards at the end downs their drink.

Players / Teams: 3–5

Goal

This one’s all about creativity, savagery, and seeing who can pick the darkest possible choice.

The aim is to play the card that best (or worst) answers each twisted question and win over the Roast Master. If your card gets picked, you keep it. At the end of the game, the player with the most cards in their win pile is crowned champion — and possibly the worst human in the room.

Setup

• Shuffle the deck thoroughly.

• Deal 3 cards to each player.

• Place the remaining cards face down in the centre as a draw pile.

• The Roast Master for the first round is the player who has most recently masturbated.

Playing a Round

• The Roast Master starts the round by calling out a question or scenario.

• All other players secretly choose 1 card from their hand that they think is the funniest, filthiest, or most outrageous fit.

• Cards are placed face down in the centre.

• The Roast Master shuffles the cards, then reads each card aloud (name and background).

• The Roast Master chooses the winning card.

What happens next:

• The winner keeps their card and places it in their win pile.

• All other cards are shuffled back into the deck.

• All players draw back up to 3 cards.

• The Roast Master role passes clockwise, and the next round begins.

Example Questions

Use the examples below, or make up your own — the darker and more personal, the better:

• Who’s the worst person to bring home to meet your parents?

• Who do you least want as your boss?

• Who’s secretly living in your shed?

• Who would you absolutely not want to swap bodies with for 24 hours?

• Who would make the worst babysitter imaginable?

• Who’s most likely to get arrested?

• Who’s most likely to give you an STI?

• Who would you not want to be stuck in a lift with?

Personal & Group Questions (Encouraged)

You know your group — get personal:

• Who looks most like [Player B]’s ex / mum / sister?

• Who’s got the dodgiest Tinder profile [Player C] would still swipe right on?

• Who would [Player C] cheat on his girlfriend with?

• Who’s most likely to be [Player B]’s secret OnlyFans subscription they swear they don’t have?

Note:
Do we condone bullying? Absolutely not.
Do we condone horrendous, dark-humoured, mutually offensive banter?
F* yes we do.**
Keep it consensual, keep it funny, and don’t cry unless it’s hilarious.

Endgame

• When the deck runs out, the player with the most cards in their win pile wins.

• Congratulations — you’ve survived the Roast Master and exposed everyone else in the process.

Drinking Version 🍻

• If your card isn’t picked, you drink.

• Every time you win five cards, you give out five drinks.

Players: 2+

Goal

This one’s all about luck, gut instinct, and pretending you have psychic powers.

The aim is to correctly guess whether the next card’s value in the chosen category will be higher or lower than the current card. Simple, addictive, and surprisingly savage.

Setup

• Shuffle the deck thoroughly and place it face down in the centre.

• As a group, choose one category to use for the entire game.
  Choose wisely — unpredictable catergories make things spicy fast.

• Draw one card and place it in the centre. Read out the name, background, and value of the chosen category.
  This becomes the starting card.

Playing a Round

• Player A is the player who has slept with the most people.

• Player A draws the next card from the deck, reads out the name and background, and challenges the next player clockwise (Player B):

  “Higher or lower than the last card?”

• Player B makes their guess.

What happens next:

• If Player B is correct, they win the previous (starting) card and place it in their personal pile.

• If Player B is wrong — or if the value is a tie — the card is placed at the bottom of the face-down deck.

• The newly drawn card now becomes the new starting card.

• Player B now draws the next card, reads it out, and challenges Player C.

• Play continues clockwise until all cards have been played.

Endgame

• When the deck runs out, the player with the largest personal pile wins.

• Congratulations — you’re either very lucky or deeply cursed.

Drinking Version 🍻

• If you guess incorrectly, you drink.

• If there’s a tie, the guessing player downs their drink.
  (Yes. All of it. Don’t argue.)

Carry on until the cards run out, the drinks run out, or someone collapses — whichever comes first.

Players: 2+

Goal

Brutal, blunt, and beautifully wrong.

Draw three cards and decide who you’d Fuck, who you’d create a doomed little Fetus with, and who you’re putting six feet under before turning up to their Funeral with flowers. It’s Snog/Marry/Avoid’s evil twin — darker, filthier, and far more disturbing.

Setup

• Shuffle the deck thoroughly and place it in the middle.

Playing a Round

• The starting player (whoever’s mother is the biggest MILF in the group) draws 3 cards from the deck.

• They read out the name and background of each card and place them face up on the table.

• Before the starting player reveals their choices, all other players secretly write down which card they would:

• Fuck – the “fine, I’ll do it once and regret it forever” option.

• Fetus – the all-in, full-shame choice. Shared DNA, shared custody, and 18 years of unwanted contact.

• Funeral – the ultimate rejection: put them six feet under, then show up with flowers.

• The starting player then reveals their choices first, explaining their rationale.

• All other players reveal their choices.

Scoring

• The starting player scores one point for each other player whose full set of choices exactly matches theirs.

• All cards are then shuffled back into the deck.

• Play passes clockwise, with the next player becoming the starter for the next round.

Endgame

• Continue playing clockwise until a player reaches the agreed number of points (e.g. 10 points).

• That player wins — and should probably reflect on their life choices.

Drinking Version 🍻

• If you receive no matches, you drink.

• For every 3 points a player receives, they hand out 3 drinks / fingers / sips / shots.

Variations

Feeling extra twisted? Try swapping the fates for other terrible combinations, such as:

• Ride, Reject, Raise
  A one-night stand, a brutal bin-off, or a lifelong responsibility you’ll instantly regret.

• Love, Leave, Lobotomise
  The sweetheart, the write-off, or the full-on horror-movie ending.

• Cannibalise, Creep, Necrophilia
  Carve them up and eat them, stalk them until they break, or commit the ultimate taboo.

Disclaimer: We don’t recommend this game unless you’re already on a watchlist—play at your own risk, you glorious sicko.

You will need a dice to play this game.

Players: 2+

Goal

The goal is simple: be the last one standing with every single card in the deck. To do that, you’ll need to throw the dice, test your luck, and beat your opponents’ stats. Survival of the pettiest.

Setup

• Shuffle the deck well (no limp riffles, please).

• Deal all cards face down to players until the whole deck is split.

• Keep your pile in front of you. No sneaky peeking.

Playing a Round

• The first player flips the top card of their pile.

• Instead of choosing a stat freely, they roll the dice to decide which category will battle:
  1 = Face/Body
  2 = Fluff Control
  3 = Mileage
  4 = Moisture
  5 = Tightness
  6 = Odour

• The player announces it in full Dark Trumps glory, e.g.:
  “I am Connie Lingus, and my Moisture is 78!”

• Each other player flips their top card and reads out the same stat.

• Highest value wins the round.

Important Rule:
For Mileage, the lowest number wins. Don’t argue — that’s how it works.

Ties

If two or more players tie for the winning value, the tied cards stay in the middle. Everyone draws their next top card, the dice is rolled again for a new stat, and the winner of that tiebreaker takes the whole pile.

What happens to the cards?

In traditional Top Trumps, the winning cards are placed under the winner’s deck — which when you add a dice can make a single game last about six hours. You can play this way if you’re a masochist.
But for a faster game:

• Winner’s Pile Method: the winning player keeps all the cards from the round in a separate “winning pile.” These cards are out of circulation until the end.

Carrying On

The winner of each round keeps the glory and rolls the dice for the next stat battle.
Players with no cards left in their active pile are eliminated. Cue dramatic exits.

Endgame

The game ends when all the cards have been played. Count your “winning pile.” The player with the biggest stash is crowned King/Queen/Overlord of Poor Taste.

Drinking Version🍻

• Lowest value each round → drink.

• Least amount of cards at the end → finish your drink. (Yes, all of it. No mercy.)

You will need a dice to play this game.

Players: 2+

Goal

Like Traditional Dice, but more chaotic. Every round, the dice unleashes chaos — sometimes highest values matter, sometimes they don’t. The aim is still the same: win rounds, pile up cards, and crush your opponents.

Setup

• Shuffle the deck properly (no limp riffles).

• Deal all cards face down to players until the whole deck is split.

• Keep your pile in front of you. No peeking.

Setup

• The first player flips their top card and rolls a dice.

• The number rolled decides what kind of chaos hits the round:

Chaos Dice Outcomes

1 = Normal Play — nothing special, standard Trumps rules.
2 = Value Scramble — forget the values. Everyone rolls the dice, and the highest roll wins all the cards.
3 = Card Swap — everyone passes their top card left before revealing.
4 = Double Trouble — everyone plays 2 cards at once and add up both of the chosen values (e.g a Face/Body of “2” and “6” become “8”. 
5 = Funeral Mode — all losing cards are discarded from the game. Winner keeps only their card.
6 = Lowest Stat Wins — weakest value in the chosen stat takes the round.

• Once the chaos is known, all players reveal their card(s) and apply the rule.

• Winner (if there is one!) scoops the round’s cards into their pile — unless Funeral Mode ruins them.

Mileage Rule

For Mileage, lowest value always wins unless Stat Scramble overrides it.

Ties

If there’s a tie, all tied cards stay in the middle. Everyone draws their next card, rolls the dice again, and plays a fresh round. Winner scoops the whole pile.

Carrying On

The winner of each round rolls the dice for the next chaos effect.
Players who run out of cards are eliminated — cue dramatic exits.

Endgame

When the deck runs out, the player with the biggest pile is crowned the Chaos Overlord.

Drinking Version🍻

• Lose a round → drink.

• Roll a 5 (Funeral Mode) → everyone drinks in mourning.

• Elimination → finish your drink!